“And Yonah prayed to Hashem, his G-d, from the innards of the fish” (Yonah 2:2). After being inside the fish that had swallowed him for three days, Yonah asked G-d to save him. Considering that Yonah had previously chosen to drown at sea rather than ask G-d to save him (and his shipmates) from the storm (1:12, see M’chilta, introduction to Bo), it is a bit surprising that Yonah all of a sudden decides he wants to live. His perspective on getting Nin’vey to repent hadn’t changed (see 2:4), and he still preferred to die rather than being the cause of their repentance (2:5) even after they had already repented (and his death wouldn’t prevent it from happening). If Yonah still preferred dying to fulfilling G-d’s mission of warning Nin’vey, why did he asked to be saved?

One possibility (see Otzer HaMidrashim, Yonah 5) is that although he could accept death, he couldn’t tolerate the suffering. After three days in the belly of the fish, Yonah couldn’t take it anymore, so asked G-d to end his suffering; He even agreed to fulfill the mission he detested so that G-d would spare his pain. However, the language of Yonah’s prayer, which included re-establishing his relationship with G-d (2:5) and his life being saved (2:7), indicates that it wasn’t just because he couldn’t take the pain anymore that he decided to ask G-d to save him. Although enduring hardship is often a catalyst for rethinking one’s position, since after enduring the hardship Yonah still preferred death to causing Nin’vey’s repentance, this doesn’t seem to be what changed while he was in the fish.

After mentioning that the suffering was a catalyst for his prayer (2:2), Radak (2:5) explains Yonah’s change in perspective: “For I thought, when they threw me into the sea, that I would die, and was driven from Your eyes, which means to say from Your involvement with me (i.e. divine intervention), to the point that I thought You had hidden Your face and Your eyes from me. However, now that You have performed for me this great miracle and I am still alive inside the belly of the fish, I know that I will once again see Your holy Temple, and You will again bring me back to the place of prophecy and the place of Your supervision, despite my fleeing from it.” (See Abarbanel and Malbim for similar ideas.) Yonah had made a conscious decision to remove himself from G-d’s presence, severing the relationship he had with Him, rather than fulfilling His mission by speaking to Nin’vey, and was surprised that even so, G-d did not give up on him, and didn’t remove His supervision from him, as evidenced by the miracles He had performed to keep him alive. It was this realization that caused Yonah to want to live despite not wanting to go to Nin’vey. If G-d could believe in him, and work with him, despite his reluctance to fulfill His mission, he could work with G-d despite his reluctance as well.

There are several approaches given to explain why Yonah didn’t want to go to Nin’vey. If Nin’vey repented, it would make Israel look worse for not repenting (Yerushalmi Sanhedrin 11:5). If Nin’vey repented and Yonah’s warnings of their imminent doom did not come about, Israel would be far less likely to take his warnings that they have to repent seriously (see Pirkay d’Rebbi Eliezer 10). If Nin’vey didn’t repent, G-d would not let them become powerful enough to destroy Israel; if they did repent, they would once again become a world power and cause the destruction of (what was left of) the Northern Kingdom (see Abarbanel). Yonah was so repulsed by Nin’vey’s corruption and immorality that he couldn’t accept G-d forgiving them (Da’as Mikra, introduction to Yonah). Whatever the reason was that Yonah decided to run away rather than listening to G-d, obviously Yonah didn’t just say “if G-d wants me to do it, I better do it even if I don’t agree with it or don’t understand it.” He was conflicted about undertaking such a mission (much as Moshe and Yirmiyahu were hesitant to accept theirs), and decided to break all ties with G-d — even if it meant losing his life — rather than doing something he was so opposed to. Being saved from drowning by the fish, and being kept alive inside the fish, showed Yonah that G-d did not give up on him, did not reject him outright, even if Yonah was conflicted about fulfilling this mission. He still had his reservations, as evidenced by his reaction after Nin’vey repented, but was now willing to do what G-d asked of Him despite those reservations. Knowing that G-d wanted to maintain their relationship, and wanted him to fulfill the mission, despite his being uncomfortable with it, changed Yonah’s perspective on things. Now he was willing to do what G-d asked of him despite being conflicted about it.

There are several poignant messages embedded in Sefer Yonah that make it an ideal Haftarah for Mincha on Yom Kippur. We can change our ways, just as the people of Nin’vey did. G-d wants us to change our ways, no matter how badly we’ve behaved, just as He wanted the people of Nin’vey to change, despite how corrupt they were. G-d will accept our repentance, just as he accepted theirs. One of the messages of Sefer Yonah is that He wants us to maintain a relationship with Him even if we are conflicted about cerain aspects of that relationship. Whether it is regarding theological issues, textual issues, or western values seeming to be incompatible with the Torah’s values, being uncomfortable with an aspect of our religion doesn’t mean we shouldn’t maintain, or try to improve, our connection with G-d and His Torah.

One of the categories of sins we specifically ask forgiveness for on Yom Kippur is “for the sins that we sinned before You with a confused heart.” Being uncertain about things can lead to a lack of enthusiasm for fulfilling G-d’s commandments to their fullest extent, and we ask G-d to forgive us for doing things we shouldn’t have, not doing things we should have, and not doing things as completely as we could have because of any lack of clarity. Like Yonah, who was conflicted about doing what G-d wanted of him, G-d knows that we are a work in progress, and wants to maintain a connection with us despite our imperfections. Yom Kippur gives us the opportunity to atone for our sins and return to G-d with a full heart. Or even with a conflicted one.