“And each man’s sanctified things shall be his; a man who gives it to the Kohain, it shall be his” (Bamidbar 5:10). There are numerous meanings embedded into this verse, including the one Rashi quotes from the Talmud (B’rachos 63a), that giving those items that are supposed to be given to a Kohain (e.g. T’rumah and Bikurim) to him will ultimately bring the giver financial prosperity; “whomever gives them to a Kohain, will have [much money].” Just prior to this, the Talmud tells us that whomever doesn’t give these things to a Kohain (despite being required to) will eventually need a Kohain for the Soteh process. This connection is also made in several Midrashim (e.g. Vayikrah Rabbah 15:6 and Bamidbar Rabbah 9:13), and is quoted by Rashi (on 5:12). However, the husband, who was the one who didn’t give the Kohain what he was supposed to, isn’t the only one affected by having to go to the Kohain for a different reason instead. Why does a wife have to suffer by also being brought to the Kohain to go through the Soteh process just because her husband was negligent in doing what he was supposed to do?

This question is posed in Iyun HaParasha (#24), and, to be honest, when I first saw it, I thought it was a “klutz kasha” (as I will explain). Nevertheless, if they thought it was worthy of asking, I thought it might be worthwhile to explain why the question didn’t bother me. Imagine my surprise, then, when I found some commentators who discuss the issue, even if they don’t fully address it. [Part of the question asked and discussed is why she also has to be brought to the Kohain for his sins if there are other ways of requiring him to go to a Kohain without impacting her as severely. Their answers address this issue more effectively.]

Tzeidah La’derech suggests that the decision to withhold the Priestly “gifts” is often a joint decision, so they share the guilt. However, the verbiage of the Talmud (that he will need a Kohain through his wife) and Rashi and some of the Midrashim (that “you,” in the singular,” will need to bring “your wife” because “you” didn’t bring what you were supposed to the Kohain), strongly indicates that he is the focus, not both of them.

B’er Ba’sadeh suggests that as punishment for withholding the fruits of his labor from the Kohain, G-d will withhold the “fruits of the womb” from him, and they will not have any children. In order to combat this, the wife will pretend she is interested in someone else so that her husband will put her through the Soteh process, and, because she is innocent, will be promised children (see Bamidbar 5:28). However, this doesn’t really answer the question, as she is also being prevented from having children, and has to go through this process, because of his sin. In addition, her “having children” after going through the process (when innocent) doesn’t necessarily mean having children she otherwise wouldn’t have had; Rashi says it refers to having an easier childbirth, or to the kind of children she will now have.

Maskil L’Dovid suggests that the two things don’t occur in the same lifetime. Rather, someone who didn’t bring the Kohain what he was supposed to is reincarnated in order to be able to compensate for having withheld it in a previous life. To make sure that he has to go to a Kohain (at which point he will bring what he owes), it is decreed in heaven that (in this second lifetime) he will marry someone who will be unfaithful (or at least consider being unfaithful enough to disregard the warnings not to spend time alone with another man), thereby causing him to bring her to a Kohain to undergo the Soteh process. Difficulties with this approach abound, starting with limiting it to reincarnated souls, and continuing with her free will (choosing to become a Soteh well after he was reincarnated and they got married) being ignored. Besides, the implication of the Talmudic teaching is that he will need a Kohain for a different reason (the Soteh process), not that the Soteh process will be the means for him to fulfill his obligation of giving a Kohain what was owed. Additionally, the Talmud finishes the scenario by saying that because he withheld the “gifts” from the Kohain, not only will he need the Kohain for something else, but he will become poor. If he gave the Kohain what he owed him when he went with his wife, why would he still become poor?

G’vul Binyamin (1:4:4, quoted by Shitah M’kubetses Ha’chadash on B’rachos) suggests that since one who withholds these “gifts” from the Kohanim becomes poor, and not having enough to eat (or to pay the bills) is a major cause of tension in the home, his not giving the “gifts” led to her being unfaithful (or to consider being unfaithful). In a similar vein, R’ Yonasan Eybeshitz suggests that upon seeing their fortunes decline, she will suspect it’s because he spent their money on other women, and no longer fears the “Soteh waters” (since they only work if he is sin-free), and will therefore more easily consider cheating on him. Although these suggestions may help us understand why it is specifically this he will need a Kohain for (as the likelihood of his wife considering being unfaithful increases), they do not explain why she is put in a position to be more tempted to do so because of his sin. And, as previously mentioned, the Talmud indicates that becoming poor occurs after the Soteh process has occurred, not beforehand.

Nachalas Yaakov suggests that the wife had sinned independently of her husband’s sin, and so deserves to be punished as well. Because of his sin, though, rather than her being punished by being caught with someone else and then being executed by the court, she has to go through the Soteh process and die a much harsher death instead, with her innards exploding. Or, if she was innocent of adultery and only guilty of spending time alone with another man, she has to go through the Soteh process before being exonerated rather than “just” having people talk about her being with someone else. I don’t understand what he thinks is gained through this suggestion, as either way her punishment becomes much worse because of what he did.

The question of what she did wrong is built on the assumption that it was his sin of withholding the “gifts” from the Kohanim that caused both of them to have to go to a Kohain for the Soteh process. Let’s turn the question around, and look at the situation as we would have understood it before the Talmud (et al) associated it with his not giving a Kohain the “gifts.” If she was unfaithful (and therefore deserving of having to drink the Soteh waters), why should he suffer by having to bring her to a Kohain for the process? Even if she wasn’t unfaithful, but ignored his warning not to spend time alone with someone, why should he suffer based on her lack of modesty (see Rashi on 5:12)? In his overview of how people are matched up, Meiri (Soteh 2a) takes it for granted that who a person marries is included in the concept of reward and punishment; even if the choice to sin is made after they were married, how a spouse is affected by it would be included in this concept as well. The concept of how others can be affected by our actions, and how we can be affected by the actions of others, is not a simple one, but generally speaking, when a punishment is meted out on one person, or one group, how others are affected by it is taken into account as well. [When discussing how Moshe’s prayer after the sin of the golden calf could help save the nation, Ralbag explains that by showing how their destruction would impact him, G-d spared them in order to spare Moshe the anguish their destruction would have caused him. Even though the nation deserved to be destroyed, because doing so would adversely impact Moshe, and he didn’t deserve that adverse impact, they were spared.]

Applying this to a Soteh, even though she sinned, if he has to go through the process of bringing her to a Kohain and having her drink the Soteh waters, he must, on some level, deserve to be punished as well. It is this aspect that is being discussed. Not why she deserves to go through the process; she deserves to go through the process because of her own actions. (He may have contributed to her actions through his own actions or inactions, but ultimately she sinned by being with someone else.) The Talmud (et al) is teaching us that one of the things that could cause him to deserve to go through this is not giving the Kohain his “gifts.” As a matter of fact, the Torah starts the Soteh section by mentioning “a man whose wife did something wrong,” not (as we would have expected) “a woman who did something wrong” (see Gur Aryeh on 5:12). The focus, at least as far as the connection between not giving the Kohain his “gifts” and having to bring his wife to a Kohain because she is a Soteh, is on him, and what he did wrong. It has little bearing on what she did wrong, and why she is being punished. What she did wrong is rather obvious; the point is what he did wrong to deserve to have to go through the process too.