“And he took Rivka to be his wife, and he loved her, and Yitzchok was consoled over [the loss of] his mother” (B’reishis 24:67). Since Sara (his mother) had died three years earlier (see Rashi on 25:20), it is bit curious that it took so long for Yitzchok to be consoled. The very notion that getting married was how he became consoled needs an explanation. Many commentaries connect Rivka’s righteousness, and specifically how it matched Sara’s, with his finally being consoled, but this too needs an explanation. Was he inconsolable because the world was lacking someone on her spiritual level, and was therefore consoled when he saw that there was someone comparable to Sara?

The Midrash (Tanchuma Sh’mos 10) tells us that three of our forefathers, Yitzchok, Yaakov and Moshe were paired with their spouses through (literally “from”) a well. And this is clearly true, as Eliezer met Rivka in Charan by a well (B’reishis 24:11-15), Yaakov met Rachel by the well in Charan (29:2-6), and Moshe met Tziporah by a well in Midyan (Sh’mos 2:15-16). However, when the Midrash references verses as proof-texts that all three met their spouses through a well, rather than quoting the verse where Eliezer first met Rivka, it quotes the verse when Yitzchok first met her (B’reishis 24:62), albeit before they actually met, “and Yitzchok came from coming from (or to) B’er Lachai Ro’ee.” This is puzzling on several fronts. For one thing, when this well is mentioned, Yitzchok hadn’t met Rivka yet. He “went out to the field to pray” (see Rashi on 24:63) after leaving B’er Lachai Ro’ee, and that’s where/when he first saw Rivka (24:63) and she first saw him (24:64). Secondly, the location given attribution for the pairing should not be where they met after the match had already been made, but the location where the pairing was made (the well in Charan). Additionally, even if B’er Lachai Ro’ee was also (somehow) integral to the match being made, given the choice of mentioning a well, shouldn’t it be the one in Charan? [Even though Sh’mos Rabbah (1:32) does mention the well in Charan too, it is secondary to B’er Lachai Ro’ee (as after mentioning B’er Lachai Ro’ee it adds, “and also, Rivka was ready for Eliezer at a spring”).] Why is B’er Lachai Ro’ee given such prominence, to the extent that it overshadows the well in Charan?

Last year (https://rabbidmk.wordpress.com/2014/11/13/parashas-chayei-sara-5775/) I discussed why Yitzchok was so drawn to B’er Lachai Ro’ee, even though its significance was the divine communication that Hagar, the mother of his half-brother (Yishmael), had experienced there. B’er Lachai Ro’ee was the location Avraham, and then Yitzchok, re-named B’er Sheva (see Ramban on 24:62), the place where Avraham offered food and lodging to everyone in order to help them recognize the Creator. Midrash Aggadah tells us that Yitzchok moved to B’er Lachai Ro’ee in order to be near Hagar. B’er Lachai Ro’ee is mentioned when Yitzchok was introduced to Rivka because he had just come there to bring Hagar back to his father so that he can remarry her (see Rashi). And if Hagar was living in B’er Lachai Ro’ee even before she remarried Avraham, she must have also been committed to bringing others closer to G-d (including relating her experience at B’er Lachai Ro’ee to them). Just as when Sara was still alive “Avraham converted the men and Sara converted the women” (see Rashi on 12:5), after Sara’s death it was Hagar who “converted the women.”

Aside from the reasons I presented last year, I would add one more reason why B’er Lachai Ro’ee was so important to Yitzchok. Although it would make sense for Yitzchok to be there in order to continue his father’s mission (“converting the men”), another reason he wanted to be near Hagar might have been so that she can help him find an appropriate spouse, and be her mentor after they were married. Yitzchok was very concerned about being able to find the right person to help him further the family’s monotheistic mission, and had been counting on his mother, Sara, to help him find the right person to marry (perhaps one of the women she brought “under the wings of the Divine”) and to then show her what it means to be a Matriarch. After she died, he was hoping that Hagar, who knew firsthand how the “Avinu” household was run and was still involved in the family mission, could fulfill that role. This could be why Yitzchok wanted to be near Hagar, and why, after he heard that Eliezer was going to Charan to find a wife for him, he wanted Hagar to remarry his father (see Midrash HaGadol 24:62), as now she could mentor his wife from within the household. Until then, he was hoping that Hagar would find a star pupil to be his wife, after which she could mentor her, but if Eliezer came back with someone from Charan, Hagar would still be needed as a mentor.

It is therefore possible that the Midrash focused on B’er Lachai Ro’ee more than on the well in Charan because of the role Yitzchok thought Hagar would have to have in his marriage, a role based on his concern about finding and mentoring his spouse without his mother. This concern impacted his prayers to G-d about finding the right spouse, which might be another reason we are told that “he went out to the field to pray” immediately after mentioning B’er Lachai Ro’ee. When the Midrash refers to B’er Lachai Ro’ee regarding Yitzchok being one of the forefathers who were paired with their wives “from the well,” it could be referring to how the concerns that brought him to B’er Lachai Ro’ee (and Hagar) also brought extreme urgency to his prayers, which helped them being answered. [Additionally, even after meeting Rivka, Yitzchok had some serious concerns about her righteousness (see Torah Sh’laimah 24:237); it’s possible that Hagar, who was with them when Eliezer returned from Charan if Yitzchok was in the process of bringing her back to Avraham, helped alleviate these concerns.]

Even though Sara had passed away years earlier, Yitzchok was constantly reminded of his loss because of his concern about finding the right spouse without her, and because he didn’t know how to compensate for her ability to mentor his wife after they were married. However, after he married Rivka and saw that her actions matched those of his mother, and that the three miraculous “signs” that were always present when Sara was alive had returned (see Rashi on 24:67), these concerns went away. He had found the right spouse even without his mother’s help, and his spouse didn’t need her mentoring in order to attain the level of spirituality necessary to become a Matriarch. With these concerns gone, “Yitzchok was (finally) consoled over (the loss of) his mother.”